I LOVE the movie The Wizard of Oz.

Growing up, I always looked forward to watching it at Christmas time when they showed it on TV. I sang along with all the songs, imagining I was Dorothy on this great adventure. I even remember dressing as her for Halloween. I had the perfect matching dress and everything.

I think I like the movie, and Dorothy, so much is because she reminds me of me. She is so bright and cheery, wants to help everyone and make sure they’re included in everything, looked at the positives, and loved everyone she came in contact with almost immediately.  And she had a mission, a goal she was moving towards, and nothing or no one was going to get in her way.

When she met with the Scarecrow, the Tinman, and the Lion, she was quick to help each of them achieve their goal….their dream. Which, anyone who really knows me, is something I am all about. You have a goal, dream, or passion? I’m 2000% behind it with you and will do anything and everything in my power to help you make it happen and successful. It’s just who I am and what God created me to be. Look up and take the StrengthsFinder test. You can get your top 5 strengths and it will tell you your strengths. Mine are Belief, Positivity, Includer, and Connectedness, and Activator.

These 3 characters also remind me of me.

The Scarecrow believed he wasn’t good enough to do the job he was created to do because he didn’t have a brain. I used to believe that I wasn’t good enough for someone because of my disease. I believed that I would not be wanted or liked anymore. If others found out what was going on, they’d reject me. That if only I didn’t have this, then I could…fill in the blank. When in reality, I am created by a God bigger than me, in HIS image.

The Tinman believed he didn’t have a heart. That he was hollow inside and his maker forgot to include a heart, yet he showed so much compassion for others.  There were so many times that I felt like God had forgotten me.

The Lion believed he had no courage. Ultimately we find out that he had it all along, but he didn’t believe it was there. He didn’t see himself created that way. He didn’t believe His maker gave him the courage and he struggled with his identity. There have been many days in the last couple years that I didn’t feel like I had the courage. The courage to move on, to continue the fight through the day as I felt my weak and tired body try to move, and believe that my God had me in His arms and believe that He’d take this disease away from me. I’d struggle sometimes to see how God really created me. In HIS image.

All three of them believed in lies about themselves. In the end, they all find out that what they wanted, desired SO badly, had been ingrained within them all along. They possessed those things they longed for, it was just a matter of them believing in it. It took someone greater than them to show them these things. To remove the veil from their eyes so they could truly see how they were created. Complete and whole. Lacking nothing. Their Creator had given them all they needed and desired.

I read recently from a book my pastor’s wife wrote that “Hurting people hurt people.” I believe that I’ve hurt others in so many ways. I know because I was hurting. And for every hurt, I want to heal. I want to put a big band-aid on it and make it go away. Cover it up like it never happened. But I know I alone can’t do it. Only God can truly heal. So I’m praying that God be in the midst of every hurt and heal. And I’m sorry from the deepest part of my heart for every hurt.

I haven’t been living a very “YOLO” life like I had been. I’ve let this disease define me in a way. Let it overtake me. Looking back, there are so many things I regret NOT doing. Not being a part of because I let the lies overtake me. But I don’t want to look back and regret anymore. I want to look forward. Look forward to counting the days UP. To live each day as if it were my last. To being myself and no one else. To creating memories and taking chances. To live intensely and the life I was created to live.

God’s been healing little by little, revealing His truth and covering those lies. Looking at all the things I “thought”, makes me laugh because I know how ridiculous it all is now. And made it very evident as to just how much power I let the enemy have on my thoughts. Although my physical body is not fully restored and healed, I believe one day it will be. I know because He’s promised. He gave me His son Jesus.

I am chosen.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am His workmanship.

I am sheltered and protected in God.

I am complete.

I am dearly loved.

I’m being transformed.

I am all that He says I am.

I am precious in His sight.

I am free.

He knew me even before I was born.

He knit me in my mother’s womb.

He will never leave me nor forsake me.

By His stripes, I am healed.

He dances over me.

His promises are true. God can’t lie.

He will complete to perfection what He’s promised.

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